Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
