if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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