Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i used baking grease as lip gloss
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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