Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
