listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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