you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
