i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
