The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
