Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
do herpes really smell.
Dignity is for republicans.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
