i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
