Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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