You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
