If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
