i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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