Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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