this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
