She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
