My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
