And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
