Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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