I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
