The best revenge is premature balding
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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