Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
