where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
