I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
