Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just want to make out with him forever
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
