i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
