two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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