i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
