White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
