I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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