I look better un-naked...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
