rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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