my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
