dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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