I just threw up on my dentist
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
