3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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