Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So much rum. So many feels.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
