Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Boobs speak an international language.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
