Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
