I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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