i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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