dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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