i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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