She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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