im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
