dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
