I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wish I could punch you in the face.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
