check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
