what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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