"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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