ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
